First time I tried this blog thing was a few years back. They say your real journey in Hollywood begins after you’ve been in the game for ten years. Well I hit my ten year mark a couple years ago & decided to start a blog to capture this process. Not even a full week after I set it all up, I got the call to play “Social Worker Janet” on Grey’s Anatomy. It worked!! Ten years in & I finally got my big break!! Or so I thought…
My storyline surrounded “MerDer” (for all the superfans) adopting a baby. Even though this was tv, the adoption process couldn’t start & end in one episode so I became the recurring social worker to guide the way. Working on the set of Grey’s was a dream. The folks in front of and behind the camera were as cool and supportive as a guest actor would hope. I even had the opportunity to meet the Queen B, Shonda Rhimes, herself!
Life was good and it was all gravy UNTIL….I had to actually give them the baby!! Wait, don’t you want something else to go wrong to keep me on the show just a little bit longer?? Don’t you have another case you want me to work on or better yet have me fall in love with one of the doctors I passed in the hallway?? (Dr. Avery perhaps)
If you watch the show, you know that none of those things ever happened. BUT, I had just worked multiple episodes on one of the biggest shows on primetime tv, so no worries, my phone is about to start ringing off the hook! Not only did my phone not ring off the hook, it didn’t even ring…no phone calls for big auditions, no returned calls from agents I had hoped to land, nothing. Going from the high of steady work to zero is hard on the soul. And after a few months of continued nothingness, my soul needed a break.
So I checked out. I needed to press pause and figure out how to not get stuck on the end result but instead celebrate and trust the journey. Find out what makes me happy. Realize who I am in this process regardless of what happens or what doesn’t happen in this career.
So part of the healing and growth brings me back to this good ole blog! Sometimes social media becomes the fun highlight reel to a journey that is often lonely and full of frustrations. Of course the joys and wins are in there, but only seeing those back to back can create a picture of this entertainment world that is neither accurate nor real.
This is my attempt to share the full picture. Welcome to my world.